the long and short of it is, I got the fear. the day will come. however, when I make the change, it will be across the board. I’m gonna dump everything and go underground. though you often call bullshit on me, I truly have no material desires, once I step away from the silly impulses of my body to procreate. what I want is revolution; I hate that what you have is more important than who you are. we are so advanced in civilization that those kinds of things should no longer matter, and I am sick of that kind of weakness. I am not free of it, as you are well aware, but I am truly tired of being a slave to it.
it is funny to me that you and I go round and round about this, without gaining any ground. and funnier that, though we seem to have our eyes on different horizons, we continue to tread the same path. I don’t think either of us is willing to really open our eyes to where it actually leads. this is my goal. I want to create a community where community is paramount, not competition. I truly believe that if we build it, they will come. in the end, it will like all things, destroy itself, but in doing so, like jesus on the cross, it will live forever in the souls of those who believe. I think that is my purpose in life, as self important as it may sound.